Although the approach is a little unorthodox, this is one of the first mediations that I carried out. The setting was unusual, but I did follow the basic steps of a mediation process. The story is about two girls, aged 9 and 10.  The younger one was being bullied by the older and had become afraid of her.

One morning I arrived at a school where I was working with the 10 year old girl who we will call Sally.  The head teacher was absent that day, and the deputy head told me she had had a visit from a mother that morning, complaining about Sally bullying her daughter Rose. For some time, Rose had been reluctant to come to school because she was afraid of Sally. Things came to a head the previous night, when Rose refused to go to a local club because Sally would be there.

I asked the deputy head if she would like me to talk to Sally about this, and she said yes. I met with Sally in the library as usual and told her that we had to talk about something that she might find quite hard. I talked to her about Rose and the way she was feeling.  Sally became upset and I asked her if she would like me to get Rose so that we could all talk together and hopefully sort it out.  Sally said she would like that.

I left to speak to the deputy head, who went off to fetch Rose. When I returned to the library, Sally was nowhere to be seen. I was not sure she was in the room, but decided to behave as if she was. I told the empty room that I thought Sally was there but feeling too bad to show her face, and that hopefully Rose was on her way. By this time, I had spotted Sally’s knee behind a set of bookshelves. Keeping a running commentary on my activities, I set out three chairs. When Rose arrived, I greeted her and explained that Sally was in the room, but was feeling bad, and that I didn’t think she felt ready to face Rose yet. I told them both that we would carry on anyway.

I then invited Rose to tell me what was going on. She talked for a while about the situation and her feelings. It was then Sally’s turn to speak, but she was still hiding silently. I asked out loud if Sally was ready to speak for herself, and getting no answer, I spoke for her, saying that I was sure she would correct me if I went wrong. I told Rose that Sally, too, was unhappy and upset. Once all the feelings were out in the open, noises started to be heard from behind the shelves, and I invited Sally to come out and join us. With some shuffling and giggling, which Rose joined in with, Sally emerged.

Both girls said that they wanted to be friends. Rose was specific. She did not want Sally for her “best friend”, she already had one, but as her “like, second best friend”. We talked together about some of the things that got in the way of them being friends.

Both girls agreed they wanted to try to make a friendship that worked.  Sally said that she would try hard not to do the things that made it hard for Rose. Rose said that she would try not to let it build up into such a big problem again, but would talk to someone if things started to get difficult. I asked them if they would like me to fetch the deputy head to tell her how they had got on. They said yes.

When the deputy head and I returned to the library, the room appeared empty – again.  Both girls turned out to be together, giggling merrily, and squeezed into a tiny hiding place in the cupboard. The deputy head commented on how nice it was to see them both with smiling happy faces.

There were no further problems between these two at that school.